User Guides

How to Ask Challenging Questions

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Asking challenging questions can be helpful to encourage deeper thinking about a situation. However, these questions need to be asked with care and sensitivity.

Sometimes “Why” questions can be seen as judgmental or speculative, for example, “Why did your team react that way?”; however, when used sparingly, they can be effective. Sometimes a “Why” question can be rephrased using a “What” or “How” question. 

Asking questions that are challenging can lead to critical and reflective thinking and may help your mentee generate insights. 

Challenging questions are usually:

  • difficult to answer
  • slightly out of the respondent’s comfort zone 
  • non-judgmental
  • personal to the respondent and specific to the topic
  • push the respondent to think more deeply

Examples include: “What’s unique about your situation?”, “What critical feedback do you most often receive, and do you deserve it?”, “What dream have you given up on?”, and “What are you risking by not stepping out of your comfort zone?”.

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How to Prepare for Your Mentoring Meeting as a Mentor

Your mentee is responsible for most of the preparation for their mentoring meeting.
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Your mentee is responsible for most of the preparation for their mentoring meeting; however, here are some things you can do to make it more productive -

1. Be in the right frame-of-mind:

  • Take time before your meeting to reflect on your mentee’s progress-to-date. Is the relationship working as expected?
  • Be fully present. Eliminate distractions (especially your phone!).  

2. Review the agenda and action plan:

  • Your mentee should have sent you an agenda before your meeting. It should include a timeline, an update from your last meeting, and input needed from you. Be prepared to suggest any needed changes to the agenda.
  • Review the action plan and tasks set from your last meeting and ask for an update at the beginning of your session.

3. Goals: 

  • Review the stated goals and milestones from your initial meeting and reflect on your mentee’s progress-to-date. 

4. Your Action Items: 

  • Have you done your action items from the last meeting? Be prepared to provide an update. 

Your mentee should be setting the agenda and sending an invite before each meeting. Be prepared to help them at first if necessary. Ensure you have synchronized your calendar so you can set up a date, time, topic and set an agenda for your session. You can also choose your preferred video conferencing platform so that you don’t have to set up new meetings every time you schedule a mentoring session.