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How to Build the Relationship with Your Mentee

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Time you spend building rapport and trust with your mentee will improve the success of the journey. 
Here are key components you need to build that relationship -

1. Confidentiality in both directions is key. Do not discuss anything your mentee shares with you unless you have their permission. Remind your mentee of confidentiality at the beginning and end of every session. 

2. Building rapport and trust are essential. Here are some ways you can build trust.

  • Don’t rush. Spend enough time in the beginning getting to know each other, rather than rushing into goal setting and solutions. 
  • Do your research about your mentee so you’re not starting cold. Acknowledge their strengths.
  • Believe your mentee has the best answers within themselves. Your job is to ask the right questions.
  • Follow through – do what you say you are going to do.
  • Be prepared to be vulnerable – don’t just share your hero stories. Also share the times you failed.
  • Ask for and be open to feedback from your mentee.
  • Be non-judgmental.
  • Listen a lot! Talk a little.
  • Ask open-ended questions

3. Ask open-ended questions to get to know your mentee.

  • What are your values? 
  • What do you believe are strengths? 
  • What are you passionate about? 
  • What motivates you? 
  • What are you most proud of? 
  • What successes have you had? 
  • What have you taken away  from your failures? 

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How to Reflect and Summarize

The ability to reflect on and summarize what your partner has said is part of being an active listener.
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2 mins

The ability to reflect on and summarize what your partner has said is part of being an active listener and will improve the effectiveness of your session. 


Reflect on what you hear -
Listen to your partner’s words and think deeply about it. Try to understand where they are coming from, what they mean and come up with your own ideas or thoughts on the subject. This shows your partner that you are listening and carefully considering what they have to say.


Observe –
You should also pay attention to non-verbal cues and behavior you see. You may say, “I noticed you looked down when you said that…”, or “It seemed like your voice softened when you mentioned that person. Is there something more you want to say about them?” 


Summarize -
Periodically, summarize what you have heard and check that it’s accurate. Summarizing and checking shows you’ve been listening and understanding what your mentoring partner has said. You may rephrase what they said and ask if it’s what they meant. It also helps you recollect important points they have mentioned or clarify anything that was unclear.

Give a shortened version of what you’ve heard by stating the key facts. Don’t try to interpret or add to it. Use this skill when you feel ideas are getting confusing, or when there seems to be more than one issue on the table.

You may use the Notes tab to summarize and keep track of any ideas or key points discussed during the Session so you have it handy for later. You may also refer to it before your next Session and keep track of your progress.