The ability to reflect on and summarize what your partner has said is part of being an active listener and will improve the effectiveness of your session. 

Reflect on what you hear - Listen to your partner’s words and think deeply about it. Try to understand where they are coming from, what they mean and come up with your own ideas or thoughts on the subject. This shows your partner that you are listening and carefully considering what they have to say.

Observe – You should also pay attention to non-verbal cues and behavior you see. You may say, “I noticed you looked down when you said that…”, or “It seemed like your voice softened when you mentioned that person. Is there something more you want to say about them?” 

Summarize - Periodically, summarize what you have heard and check that it’s accurate. Summarizing and checking shows you’ve been listening and understanding what your mentoring partner has said. You may rephrase what they said and ask if it’s what they meant. It also helps you recollect important points they have mentioned or clarify anything that was unclear.

Give a shortened version of what you’ve heard by stating the key facts. Don’t try to interpret or add to it. Use this skill when you feel ideas are getting confusing, or when there seems to be more than one issue on the table.

You may use the Notes tab to summarize and keep track of any ideas or key points discussed during the Session so you have it handy for later. You may also refer to it before your next Session and keep track of your progress.

Listening is key to most relationships. We all know how it feels when someone pretends to listen, but does not give us their full attention. Mentoring requires strong listening skills.
A good listener hears not only what’s said, but also what’s left unsaid. 

Here are some tips to become a better listener -
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1. Be present

First, put your phone on silent and keep it aside. Face your body towards the other person, and if culturally appropriate, make eye contact. Show you are interested. Check your posture–are you relaxed and open? Give your full attention.

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2. Stop talking and just listen

So often we do not give other people the space to talk. We interrupt them, finish their sentences, or talk over them. This shuts the other person down. Be silent. Give non-verbal cues showing you are listening. Allow for pauses so your mentoring partner can think more deeply.

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3. Remove distractions

If you are meeting virtually, set your cameras in a way that you can make eye contact. Remove distractions. Avoid distracting behaviors such as doodling, checking your phone and yawning. Offer your undivided attention. 

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4. Be non-judgmental

Try to remove your prejudices and judgments from your interaction. Keep an open mind and fully listen. Show empathy. Try to step into your partner’s shoes and understand their perspective. 

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5. Pay attention to non-verbal communication

Watch your partner and notice their gestures, expressions and body language. Are you sensing how they are feeling? What are they saying through their body language?

Remote mentoring can be just as successful as in-person mentoring. Here are some tips for successful remote mentoring.

1. Choose a venue that is private - where your conversation cannot be overheard. Don’t conduct a mentoring session from your desk in an open office. Both mentoring partners should be able to  talk frankly and openly and have privacy.

2. Logistics - Set a date and time. Schedule a meeting right on MentorCloud with Sessions. Ensure both your calendars have been uploaded and that the correct time zones have been chosen. You can also discuss and select your preferred video conferencing tool. Have a light facing you, rather than behind you, so your mentoring partner can see your face. Turn your camera on. 

3. Virtual platform - Become familiar with the functionality of the MentorCloud platform and the preferred video conferencing tool. Use Tasks, Goals and Notes tab on MentorCloud as well as the chat option in your video conferencing tool. Share your screen to review tasks and goals together. Do you both have enough bandwidth to connect virtually?

4. Set ground rules - How do you feel about  being on mute? What happens with confidentiality if someone walks into the room? If one of you is at home, how will you address distractions such as the doorbell ringing or dog barking? 

5. Stay focused -  As much as possible, eliminate distractions. Silence or switch you off your phone. Close your email and any other work that may be open.

6. Get to know each other first  - Don’t jump immediately into mentoring. Instead, find out things about each other. If there are cultural differences, discuss what is socially acceptable, or not, for your meetings.

7. Actively listen - Pay attention. Show you are listening by looking into the camera, nodding your head and giving an affirmative cue. Try not to interrupt or talk over each other.

Questioning is a key skill in mentoring. By understanding how to ask the right questions, you can unlock your mentee’s thinking and generate valuable insights. 

Closed and open-ended questions
Use both closed and open-ended questions in your mentoring conversations.

1. Closed-ended questions: 

Can be answered by a few words and provide information about facts. Use them when you need clarification or a specific answer. They usually begin with “Who,” “Where,” and “When,” and “How much?”.  

Examples: 

• “Who was part of the conversation?”
• “Where did you work previously?”
• “When did you join the company?”
• “How much was your quota?”
  
  

2. Open-ended  questions: 

Open-ended questions cannot be answered with one word, or a simple “Yes” or “No”. Typically, they require more thought and can lead to deeper thinking and insights. Open-ended questions often begin with “What”, “What if”,“How?” and “Why”. 

Examples:

•   “What motivates you?”
• “What accomplishments are you proud of?”
• “What if you had an unlimited budget for this project, how would you spend it?”
•   “How will you go about motivating your team?”.
  

Tip: Asking questions can be stressful for some new mentors. Remember, it’s more important to actively listen than to think about what question to ask next. After fully listening, reflecting back and summarizing, the right question will come to you.

Asking challenging questions can be helpful to encourage deeper thinking about a situation. However, these questions need to be asked with care and sensitivity.

Sometimes “Why” questions can be seen as judgmental or speculative, for example, “Why did your team react that way?”; however, when used sparingly, they can be effective. Sometimes a “Why” question can be rephrased using a “What” or “How” question. 

Asking questions that are challenging can lead to critical and reflective thinking and may help your mentee generate insights. 

Challenging questions are usually:

• difficult to answer
• slightly out of the respondent’s comfort zone 
• non-judgmental
• personal to the respondent and specific to the topic
• push the respondent to think more deeply

Examples include: “What’s unique about your situation?”, “What critical feedback do you most often receive, and do you deserve it?”, “What dream have you given up on?”, and “What are you risking by not stepping out of your comfort zone?”.

Time you spend building rapport and trust with your mentee will improve the success of the journey. 
Here are key components you need to build that relationship -

1. Confidentiality in both directions is key. Do not discuss anything your mentee shares with you unless you have their permission. Remind your mentee of confidentiality at the beginning and end of every session. 

2. Building rapport and trust are essential. Here are some ways you can build trust.

• Don’t rush. Spend enough time in the beginning getting to know each other, rather than rushing into goal setting and solutions. 
• Do your research about your mentee so you’re not starting cold. Acknowledge their strengths.
• Believe your mentee has the best answers within themselves. Your job is to ask the right questions.
• Follow through – do what you say you are going to do.
• Be prepared to be vulnerable – don’t just share your hero stories. Also share the times you failed.
• Ask for and be open to feedback from your mentee.
• Be non-judgmental.
• Listen a lot! Talk a little.‍
• Ask open-ended questions‍

3. Ask open-ended questions to get to know your mentee.

• What ^are your values? 
• What do you believe are strengths? 
• What are you passionate about? 
• What motivates you? 
• What are you most proud of? 
• What successes have you had? 
• What have you taken away  from your failures? 

Your first meeting is about getting to know each other and determining if it’s a good fit. Will you be able to guide your mentee and help them achieve their goals?

It’s worthwhile to spend some time preparing for your first meeting. Here are some useful tips to make it more productive -

1. Contact 

The mentee needs to reach out to you to set up the first meeting. Making your dates visible on MentorCloud will make scheduling easier. If you have synchronized your calendar, it’ll be easier to set up a date and time for your session without any scheduling conflicts. Ensure you have selected the correct time zones to avoid any confusion later.

Your meeting place, whether in-person or virtual, should be a quiet, safe space where you can both share openly. You could also select your preferred video conferencing tool.

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2. Background

Read up on your mentee on MentorCloud. Your mentee might also have added a link to his/her LinkedIn profile for you to learn about their background and professional experience. 

What is their background and experience, achievements and interests? 

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3. Agenda

Your mentee should send you an agenda a few days before your meeting. When you create a Session, there is space for you to note down an agenda for your meeting.

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PREPARATION

1. Who are you?

What do you want to share about yourself? 
What are your strengths, values and achievements? 
Have you mentored before? 
What lessons did you learn from that experience?

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2. Why are you a mentor?

What do you hope to get out of the relationship? 
What do you hope to learn?

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3. What are your expectations?

Reflect on what you expect from your mentee and how you see your role in the mentoring relationship. 

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4. Parameters?

How often do you expect to meet, how you want to communicate,  and any needed boundaries you want to establish? 

Why become a mentor? Many people assume mentoring only benefits the mentee. In fact, mentoring can be mutually beneficial, with the mentor gaining as much as their mentee. 

Here are some reasons why you should become a mentor -

1. Personal Reflection: Mentoring gives you the rare chance to reflect on your own career, values and purpose, and sometimes to course correct. 

2. Learn New Things: Mentoring forces you out of your comfort zone. Your mentee can share insights on new technology and trends, and you can learn new things and stay fresh. Make sure your mentee knows you are learning from them too. 

3. Improve Your Interpersonal Skills: Mentoring requires developing your social skills, such as listening, feedback and questioning. Through mentoring, you will have a lot of opportunities to practice with them. 

4. Give Back: Experience the satisfaction of making a difference in another person’s life and seeing them grow and learn. It’s the right thing to do and will make you feel good. 

5. Strengthen  Your Leadership Bona Fides: Mentor experience is required for many executive positions and will boost your career development. 

Time you spend building rapport with your mentor will pay you back with deeper conversations and more meaningful mentoring. 

Here are the key components you need to build the relationship -
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1. Confidentiality is the cornerstone of a mentoring relationship and essential for both you and your mentor.
Do not discuss anything your mentor shares with you outside of your meeting unless you get permission to do so. You can write private messages by going into a current Mentorship and clicking on the Messages tab – other mentors and mentees can’t see these interactions.

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2. Building rapport and trust are essential. Here are some ways you can build trust:

• Spend the first meeting getting to know each other. Don’t dive into problems and solutions too soon. 
• Live up to your commitments. Keep track of your goals, tasks and notes in the Mentoring Relationship.
• Be prepared to be vulnerable. Your mentor is not there to judge you.
• Ask for and be open to frank feedback even when it’s uncomfortable to hear. 

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3. Good communication skills support strong mentoring relationships. 

Sync your calendars so it’s easier to schedule meetings and avoid conflicts. Simply go to “Settings”, then click on “General Preferences” and “Connect Calendar” to connect with your desired calendar account.

It is also important to be conscious of how you’re communicating with your mentor, both verbally and non-verbally.

• Maintain an open and relaxed posture. Turn your body towards your mentor.
• Make eye contact if it is culturally acceptable.
• Nod or make small affirmations to show you are actively listening. 

• Ask questions. 

Maintaining confidentiality, building rapport and using effective interpersonal communication skills will help you build a strong relationship with your mentor so both of you benefit from the experience. 

Your first mentoring meeting can be stressful. The first meeting is all about getting to know each other and gauging whether it's a good match. The better prepared you are, the more you will get out of it.

Here are some useful tips to make it more productive.

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Meeting Practicalities

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1. Make Contact and Set the Date

The mentee sets up the first meeting, so you have the option to either Request a Session to meet a prospective Mentor or to straightaway Request Mentoring.
Reach out to your mentor and set a date and time. If your mentor gives you permission, you can schedule your meeting right on MentorCloud. Ask your mentor if they would prefer to connect virtually or in-person.
To Schedule a Session, go to the Mentorship Tab and select View Relationship. You will see a button to propose a session.  Fill out the information for the session. If both parties have synchronized their calendars, you can set up a date and time for your session.
Ensure you have selected the correct time zones to avoid any confusion later.
Select a private place to meet where you can both share openly. Simply select Schedule and go to Session Location and select your preferred video conferencing tool or location. You can type in the address for a physical location within the Location details text box.

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2. Background

Learn about your mentor’s background on MentorCloud. Your mentor might also have added a link to his/her LinkedIn profile for you to learn about their background and professional experience. 
What is their experience, achievements and interests? 

Have they mentored before? 
Read any announcement, insights or posts they have contributed on the Community tab.

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3. Agenda

Send an agenda to your mentor a few days before your first meeting. This will help your mentor be better prepared.

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Meeting Preparation

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1. Who are you?

What do you want to share about yourself?
What are your strengths, values and achievements? 
What brings you joy and energizes you? 

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2. Why do you want to be mentored?

Have a strong understanding of what you want from your Mentoring Journey. 
Do you have goals you want to achieve or anything specific you want to learn? 

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3. What do you want to learn from your mentor?

Send an agenda to your mentor a few days before your first meeting. This will help your mentor be better prepared.

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4. Parameters?

Think about how often you want to meet, how you want to communicate, and any needed boundaries.
You have the option to set up recurring meetings under Sessions. Simply tick the box “Make this a recurring session” when you create a Session.