The ability to reflect on and summarize what your partner has said is part of being an active listener and will improve the effectiveness of your session. 

Reflect on what you hear - Listen to your partner’s words and think deeply about it. Try to understand where they are coming from, what they mean and come up with your own ideas or thoughts on the subject. This shows your partner that you are listening and carefully considering what they have to say.

Observe – You should also pay attention to non-verbal cues and behavior you see. You may say, “I noticed you looked down when you said that…”, or “It seemed like your voice softened when you mentioned that person. Is there something more you want to say about them?” 

Summarize - Periodically, summarize what you have heard and check that it’s accurate. Summarizing and checking shows you’ve been listening and understanding what your mentoring partner has said. You may rephrase what they said and ask if it’s what they meant. It also helps you recollect important points they have mentioned or clarify anything that was unclear.

Give a shortened version of what you’ve heard by stating the key facts. Don’t try to interpret or add to it. Use this skill when you feel ideas are getting confusing, or when there seems to be more than one issue on the table.

You may use the Notes tab to summarize and keep track of any ideas or key points discussed during the Session so you have it handy for later. You may also refer to it before your next Session and keep track of your progress.

Listening is key to most relationships. We all know how it feels when someone pretends to listen, but does not give us their full attention. Mentoring requires strong listening skills.
A good listener hears not only what’s said, but also what’s left unsaid. 

Here are some tips to become a better listener -
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1. Be present

First, put your phone on silent and keep it aside. Face your body towards the other person, and if culturally appropriate, make eye contact. Show you are interested. Check your posture–are you relaxed and open? Give your full attention.

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2. Stop talking and just listen

So often we do not give other people the space to talk. We interrupt them, finish their sentences, or talk over them. This shuts the other person down. Be silent. Give non-verbal cues showing you are listening. Allow for pauses so your mentoring partner can think more deeply.

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3. Remove distractions

If you are meeting virtually, set your cameras in a way that you can make eye contact. Remove distractions. Avoid distracting behaviors such as doodling, checking your phone and yawning. Offer your undivided attention. 

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4. Be non-judgmental

Try to remove your prejudices and judgments from your interaction. Keep an open mind and fully listen. Show empathy. Try to step into your partner’s shoes and understand their perspective. 

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5. Pay attention to non-verbal communication

Watch your partner and notice their gestures, expressions and body language. Are you sensing how they are feeling? What are they saying through their body language?

Remote mentoring can be just as successful as in-person mentoring. Here are some tips for successful remote mentoring.

1. Choose a venue that is private - where your conversation cannot be overheard. Don’t conduct a mentoring session from your desk in an open office. Both mentoring partners should be able to  talk frankly and openly and have privacy.

2. Logistics - Set a date and time. Schedule a meeting right on MentorCloud with Sessions. Ensure both your calendars have been uploaded and that the correct time zones have been chosen. You can also discuss and select your preferred video conferencing tool. Have a light facing you, rather than behind you, so your mentoring partner can see your face. Turn your camera on. 

3. Virtual platform - Become familiar with the functionality of the MentorCloud platform and the preferred video conferencing tool. Use Tasks, Goals and Notes tab on MentorCloud as well as the chat option in your video conferencing tool. Share your screen to review tasks and goals together. Do you both have enough bandwidth to connect virtually?

4. Set ground rules - How do you feel about  being on mute? What happens with confidentiality if someone walks into the room? If one of you is at home, how will you address distractions such as the doorbell ringing or dog barking? 

5. Stay focused -  As much as possible, eliminate distractions. Silence or switch you off your phone. Close your email and any other work that may be open.

6. Get to know each other first  - Don’t jump immediately into mentoring. Instead, find out things about each other. If there are cultural differences, discuss what is socially acceptable, or not, for your meetings.

7. Actively listen - Pay attention. Show you are listening by looking into the camera, nodding your head and giving an affirmative cue. Try not to interrupt or talk over each other.

Questioning is a key skill in mentoring. By understanding how to ask the right questions, you can unlock your mentee’s thinking and generate valuable insights. 

Closed and open-ended questions
Use both closed and open-ended questions in your mentoring conversations.

1. Closed-ended questions: 

Can be answered by a few words and provide information about facts. Use them when you need clarification or a specific answer. They usually begin with “Who,” “Where,” and “When,” and “How much?”.  

Examples: 

• “Who was part of the conversation?”
• “Where did you work previously?”
• “When did you join the company?”
• “How much was your quota?”
  
  

2. Open-ended  questions: 

Open-ended questions cannot be answered with one word, or a simple “Yes” or “No”. Typically, they require more thought and can lead to deeper thinking and insights. Open-ended questions often begin with “What”, “What if”,“How?” and “Why”. 

Examples:

•   “What motivates you?”
• “What accomplishments are you proud of?”
• “What if you had an unlimited budget for this project, how would you spend it?”
•   “How will you go about motivating your team?”.
  

Tip: Asking questions can be stressful for some new mentors. Remember, it’s more important to actively listen than to think about what question to ask next. After fully listening, reflecting back and summarizing, the right question will come to you.

Asking challenging questions can be helpful to encourage deeper thinking about a situation. However, these questions need to be asked with care and sensitivity.

Sometimes “Why” questions can be seen as judgmental or speculative, for example, “Why did your team react that way?”; however, when used sparingly, they can be effective. Sometimes a “Why” question can be rephrased using a “What” or “How” question. 

Asking questions that are challenging can lead to critical and reflective thinking and may help your mentee generate insights. 

Challenging questions are usually:

• difficult to answer
• slightly out of the respondent’s comfort zone 
• non-judgmental
• personal to the respondent and specific to the topic
• push the respondent to think more deeply

Examples include: “What’s unique about your situation?”, “What critical feedback do you most often receive, and do you deserve it?”, “What dream have you given up on?”, and “What are you risking by not stepping out of your comfort zone?”.

Here are some requirements a goal should meet -

1. Inspiring

Your mentee should be excited and enthusiastic about working towards these goals. 
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2. Challenging, Yet Achievable

 Your mentee will grow if there’s a bit of a stretch to the goal, provided it’s attainable. 
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3. Measurable and Time-Based

Goals should be measurable so you both know when they are achieved. They also should have a time-frame.

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5 Steps For Goal Setting

Ideally, your mentee should have at least three primary goals. Here are steps to help your mentee set goals. Use the MentorCloud worksheet to document and track progress.

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STEP 1: Explore

You and your mentee should look at all the major friction areas of their work and personal life. Your mentee needs to identify at least three areas to focus on through their Mentoring Journey.

Here are some open-ended questions you can ask your mentee: 

• What do you want to accomplish in the upcoming months?
• What are some things you would really like to learn or do?
• What comes to mind in terms of personal or professional friction areas impacting you?
• What else have you always dreamed of doing?
• What would you like to see in your life that currently is not there?

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STEP 2: Identify

• From these areas, you can help your mentee identify their goals. Eliminate goals that are not relevant to the mentoring journey
• Encourage your mentee to record their goals using the MentorCloud worksheet. 

Here are some questions to ask your mentee:

• Does the goal meet the requirements of being motivating, challenging, achievable, and time-bound?
• How will you measure success and know when you have achieved the goal?

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STEP 3: Needs Analysis

After the goals are recorded, help your mentee think about the steps to achieve them.

Questions to ask your mentee:

• How do you see accomplishing this goal?
• What will you need to achieve it?
• What resources, knowledge, help, or collaboration will you need?

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STEP 4: Obstacles

What could prevent your mentee from achieving their goals, and how could it be overcome?

Questions to ask your mentee:

• What do you fear could prevent you from reaching these goals?
• How can I help you?

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STEP 5: Milestones And Action Plan 

Milestones will help your Mentee measure their progress. Start by identifying a milestone and timeline with each goal. Ensure your mentee has a reasonable action plan for each goal.

Questions to ask your mentee:

• What milestones will help you track each goal?
• What help, or collaboration will you need?

Once your mentee has identified some goals, discuss it with them, and ensure it’s entered in the Goals & Tasks sections under Mentorship so you can refer back to it. If a goal seems too broad or unrealistic, help your mentee break these down into doable tasks and review their progress.

Why become a mentor? Many people assume mentoring only benefits the mentee. In fact, mentoring can be mutually beneficial, with the mentor gaining as much as their mentee. 

Here are some reasons why you should become a mentor -

1. Personal Reflection: Mentoring gives you the rare chance to reflect on your own career, values and purpose, and sometimes to course correct. 

2. Learn New Things: Mentoring forces you out of your comfort zone. Your mentee can share insights on new technology and trends, and you can learn new things and stay fresh. Make sure your mentee knows you are learning from them too. 

3. Improve Your Interpersonal Skills: Mentoring requires developing your social skills, such as listening, feedback and questioning. Through mentoring, you will have a lot of opportunities to practice with them. 

4. Give Back: Experience the satisfaction of making a difference in another person’s life and seeing them grow and learn. It’s the right thing to do and will make you feel good. 

5. Strengthen  Your Leadership Bona Fides: Mentor experience is required for many executive positions and will boost your career development. 

The purpose of setting specific and measurable goals in the Mentoring Journey is to identify concrete and meaningful areas to work towards. This will help ensure that the time during your Mentoring Journey is well spent.

Requirement for Goals

Inspiring - You should be excited and energized about working towards these goals.

Challenging But Achievable - Your goals should challenge you, yet be realistically achievable.

 Measurable and Time-Based - Your goals should be measurable, so both you and your mentor will know when they have been accomplished. They should be clear and well-understood, and need to be completed within a certain timeframe. 

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Steps to Identify and Set Your Goals

Ideally, you should have up to three primary goals for your Mentoring Journey. Here are five steps to help you think of some goals -

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STEP 1: Explore/Reflect

Take some time to prepare for your meeting with your mentor to discuss your goals. Reflect on your values, purpose and vision. What’s important to you? What do you stand for? What are areas in which you want to improve?

Reflect on the major focus areas of your work and personal life. You want to identify at least three areas relevant to your Mentoring Journey.

Questions to think about:

• What do you want to accomplish in the upcoming months?
• What are some things that you would really like to learn or do?
• What comes to mind in terms of work or life you are dealing with right now? 
• What have you always dreamed of doing?
• What would you like to see in your life that’s currently missing?

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STEP 2: Identify

From the areas described in Step 1, identify and record 2-3 goals related to your Mentoring Journey. Use the MentorCloud worksheet to document your goals and track progress.

For each goal, ask yourself: 

Are these goals positive, challenging and motivating to you?

• Do they inspire or excite you?
• Are they challenging? Do they need a bit more stretch?
• Is each goal achievable?
• How will you measure success for each goal?  How will you determine when you have achieved it?
• Are they time-based?

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STEP 3: Needs Analysis

Reflect on what needs to be done in order to achieve each goal and invite your mentor to brainstorm with you. Identify where you are now with each goal. 

• What is your vision for each goal? 
• What skills do you need so you can achieve this goal?
• What resources, information, knowledge, help, or collaboration do you need?

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STEP 4: Obstacles

• What could get in the way of you achieving these goals?
• Who could hold you accountable to help you achieve these goals?

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STEP 5: Milestones and Action Plan

For each goal, define milestones and set a timeline. Ensure that you have an action plan for achieving each goal.

• What milestones would help you track your progress for each goal?
• What resources, information, knowledge, help, or collaboration do you need?
• What is a reasonable timeline for you to achieve each goal? 

Once you have identified some goals and discussed them with your mentor, use the Goals & Tasks sections under Mentorship to set and document a goal to accomplish during the relationship. Break these down into tasks that need to be done to achieve the goal, and review your progress.