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How to Be a Good Listener

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Listening is key to most relationships. We all know how it feels when someone pretends to listen, but does not give us their full attention. Mentoring requires strong listening skills.
A good listener hears not only what’s said, but also what’s left unsaid. 

Here are some tips to become a better listener -

1. Be present

First, put your phone on silent and keep it aside. Face your body towards the other person, and if culturally appropriate, make eye contact. Show you are interested. Check your posture–are you relaxed and open? Give your full attention.

2. Stop talking and just listen

So often we do not give other people the space to talk. We interrupt them, finish their sentences, or talk over them. This shuts the other person down. Be silent. Give non-verbal cues showing you are listening. Allow for pauses so your mentoring partner can think more deeply.

3. Remove distractions

If you are meeting virtually, set your cameras in a way that you can make eye contact. Remove distractions. Avoid distracting behaviors such as doodling, checking your phone and yawning. Offer your undivided attention. 

4. Be non-judgmental

Try to remove your prejudices and judgments from your interaction. Keep an open mind and fully listen. Show empathy. Try to step into your partner’s shoes and understand their perspective. 

5. Pay attention to non-verbal communication

Watch your partner and notice their gestures, expressions and body language. Are you sensing how they are feeling? What are they saying through their body language?

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Up Next

Why Become a Mentor: The Benefits for Mentors

Why become a mentor? Many people assume mentoring only benefits the mentee.
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Why become a mentor? Many people assume mentoring only benefits the mentee. In fact, mentoring can be mutually beneficial, with the mentor gaining as much as their mentee. 

Here are some reasons why you should become a mentor -

  1. Personal Reflection: Mentoring gives you the rare chance to reflect on your own career, values and purpose, and sometimes to course correct. 
  1. Learn New Things: Mentoring forces you out of your comfort zone. Your mentee can share insights on new technology and trends, and you can learn new things and stay fresh. Make sure your mentee knows you are learning from them too. 
  1. Improve Your Interpersonal Skills: Mentoring requires developing your social skills, such as listening, feedback and questioning. Through mentoring, you will have a lot of opportunities to practice with them. 
  1. Give Back: Experience the satisfaction of making a difference in another person’s life and seeing them grow and learn. It’s the right thing to do and will make you feel good. 
  1. Strengthen  Your Leadership Bona Fides: Mentor experience is required for many executive positions and will boost your career development.