Listening is key to most relationships. We all know how it feels when someone pretends to listen, but does not give us their full attention. Mentoring requires strong listening skills.
A good listener hears not only what’s said, but also what’s left unsaid. 

Here are some tips to become a better listener -
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1. Be present

First, put your phone on silent and keep it aside. Face your body towards the other person, and if culturally appropriate, make eye contact. Show you are interested. Check your posture–are you relaxed and open? Give your full attention.

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2. Stop talking and just listen

So often we do not give other people the space to talk. We interrupt them, finish their sentences, or talk over them. This shuts the other person down. Be silent. Give non-verbal cues showing you are listening. Allow for pauses so your mentoring partner can think more deeply.

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3. Remove distractions

If you are meeting virtually, set your cameras in a way that you can make eye contact. Remove distractions. Avoid distracting behaviors such as doodling, checking your phone and yawning. Offer your undivided attention. 

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4. Be non-judgmental

Try to remove your prejudices and judgments from your interaction. Keep an open mind and fully listen. Show empathy. Try to step into your partner’s shoes and understand their perspective. 

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5. Pay attention to non-verbal communication

Watch your partner and notice their gestures, expressions and body language. Are you sensing how they are feeling? What are they saying through their body language?

Mentoring partners have expectations for each other. The better those expectations are understood, the more likely the mentoring journey will be successful. 

1. Honors confidentiality - Confidentiality is the cornerstone of a mentoring relationship. Nothing can be shared outside of the meeting unless permission is obtained to do so. You can write private messages by going into a current Mentorship and clicking on the Messages tab – other mentors and mentees can’t see these interactions.

2. Roles - Mentors are there to guide their mentees and provide support. Mentors should try to withhold judgement and keep an open mind. They offer feedback and advice if the mentee requests it.
   A mentor encourages and supports their mentee, believing in them and what they can achieve. They may also be willing to open up their network to their mentee. Since mentors usually have experience in the same field as their mentee, they can provide useful real life experiences and observations. 

3. Commits to the process - Both mentors and mentees are expected to come to meetings prepared, on time, and committed to the process. Unless it’s an emergency, don’t change or cancel meetings. 

4. Honest - Mentors are expected to be open, honest and authentic. They commit the time required to build a relationship with their mentee. They give mentees honest feedback and are open to receiving constructive feedback from them. 

Why become a mentor? Many people assume mentoring only benefits the mentee. In fact, mentoring can be mutually beneficial, with the mentor gaining as much as their mentee. 

Here are some reasons why you should become a mentor -

1. Personal Reflection: Mentoring gives you the rare chance to reflect on your own career, values and purpose, and sometimes to course correct. 

2. Learn New Things: Mentoring forces you out of your comfort zone. Your mentee can share insights on new technology and trends, and you can learn new things and stay fresh. Make sure your mentee knows you are learning from them too. 

3. Improve Your Interpersonal Skills: Mentoring requires developing your social skills, such as listening, feedback and questioning. Through mentoring, you will have a lot of opportunities to practice with them. 

4. Give Back: Experience the satisfaction of making a difference in another person’s life and seeing them grow and learn. It’s the right thing to do and will make you feel good. 

5. Strengthen  Your Leadership Bona Fides: Mentor experience is required for many executive positions and will boost your career development. 

Mentoring partners have expectations for each other. The better they are understood, the more likely the journey will be successful. 

1. Confidentiality: Confidentiality is the cornerstone of a mentoring relationship and is expected of both partners. Nothing can be shared outside of the meeting unless it is mutually agreed to ahead of time. You can write private messages by going into a current Mentorship and clicking on the Messages tab – other mentors and mentees can’t see these interactions.
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2. Be Prepared: Both Mentees and Mentors are expected to come to meetings prepared, on time, and committed to the process. Unless it’s an emergency, don’t change or cancel meetings. When you set up a Session with your mentor, you can select up a date, time, topic and set an agenda for your session.
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3. Show Initiative: Mentees are responsible for reaching out to their mentor, arranging the meetings and sending the agenda. They are responsible for their own learning with the mentor acting as a guide. The Goals & Tasks sections under Mentorship will help you set and document a goal to accomplish during the relationship, create tasks that need to be done to achieve the goal, and review your progress. Mentees must follow through on action plans and do what they have committed to. They also understand things can change and stay flexible. 
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4. Remain open to being challenged: Mentees ask for feedback and are open to receiving it. They understand feedback is an essential part of the mentoring process and provides an opportunity to learn and grow.

Having a mentor as a guide in your professional life will benefit you in so many ways. 

1. Safe space: Having a safe, confidential space to explore your purpose, goals and career progress can help you stay on track or correct your trajectory. Your mentor will provide a non-judgemental environment for you to explore and learn. 

2. Learn: Typically, your mentor will have deep experience in your field and wants to share their knowledge, experiences and stories with you. They can be an objective 3rd party.

3. Challenge: Your mentor can challenge and ask you thought-provoking questions. Unlike your line manager, who is responsible for the team mission, your mentor can focus just on you. They have your best interests at heart and will challenge you to think more deeply and broadly, help you set goals and tasks to achieve them and offer support along the way.

4. Role model: Your mentor can serve as a role model and sounding board for you.

5. Network: Your mentor may have a large network of contacts. Over time, as your mentor gets to know and trust you, they may be willing to introduce you to others; however, this requires time and trust. Don’t ask for introductions too quickly. Establish your relationship with your mentor and let the introductions come organically.