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4. Drive Active Relationships
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22 mins

How to Give and Receive Feedback

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The objective of feedback is to help your mentee learn and improve, and not to criticize them. Done well, feedback can:

  1. Enhance communication and trust.
  2. Clarify expectations, and help partners be more open and honest about what each expects of the other.
  3. Increase engagement and commitment, so both mentoring partners feel they have a stake in the journey.
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Giving productive feedback

Feedback needs to be consistent and constructive. Here are some tips on how to give productive feedback. 

  • Permission: Ask permission before giving feedback.
  • Intention: Question your intentions. Why are you giving this feedback? Will it help your mentoring partner learn?
  • Be specific: Provide tangible examples of behavior you have observed. Discuss its impact.
  • Frequency: Give feedback frequently when it is still actionable.
  • Positive: Also focus on positive feedback. What’s going well? 
  • Two-way discussion: Allow your mentoring partner to respond and think about what they are saying. Discuss ways to move forward and potential solutions. 
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Receiving feedback

How you receive feedback is also important. Be sure to listen and think carefully about feedback. Here are some suggestions:

  • Listen: Listen attentively to what is being said. Don’t begin to plan how you will respond, and tuning out what is being said.
  • Be open to feedback: Try to have an open mind, and be willing to change your behavior if necessary. 
  • Reflect: Reflect back to your mentoring partner what you have heard to ensure you understand it clearly. Ask any questions. 
  • Two-way discussion: Together, discuss potential solutions so you can move things forward. 
  • Appreciate: Thank or recognize your mentoring partner for what they have shared with you.

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How to Reflect and Summarize

The ability to reflect on and summarize what your partner has said is part of being an active listener.
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2 mins

The ability to reflect on and summarize what your partner has said is part of being an active listener and will improve the effectiveness of your session. 


Reflect on what you hear - Listen to your partner’s words and think deeply about it. Try to understand where they are coming from, what they mean and come up with your own ideas or thoughts on the subject. This shows your partner that you are listening and carefully considering what they have to say.


Observe – You should also pay attention to non-verbal cues and behavior you see. You may say, “I noticed you looked down when you said that…”, or “It seemed like your voice softened when you mentioned that person. Is there something more you want to say about them?” 


Summarize - Periodically, summarize what you have heard and check that it’s accurate. Summarizing and checking shows you’ve been listening and understanding what your mentoring partner has said. You may rephrase what they said and ask if it’s what they meant. It also helps you recollect important points they have mentioned or clarify anything that was unclear.

Give a shortened version of what you’ve heard by stating the key facts. Don’t try to interpret or add to it. Use this skill when you feel ideas are getting confusing, or when there seems to be more than one issue on the table.

You may use the Notes tab to summarize and keep track of any ideas or key points discussed during the Session so you have it handy for later. You may also refer to it before your next Session and keep track of your progress.

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Menlo Park, CA 94025 USA
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