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How to Build a Relationship with Your Mentor

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Time you spend building rapport with your mentor will pay you back with deeper conversations and more meaningful mentoring. 

Here are the key components you need to build the relationship -

1. Confidentiality is the cornerstone of a mentoring relationship and essential for both you and your mentor.
Do not discuss anything your mentor shares with you outside of your meeting unless you get permission to do so. You can write private messages by going into a current Mentorship and clicking on the Messages tab – other mentors and mentees can’t see these interactions.

2. Building rapport and trust are essential. Here are some ways you can build trust:

  • Spend the first meeting getting to know each other. Don’t dive into problems and solutions too soon. 
  • Live up to your commitments. Keep track of your goals, tasks and notes in the Mentoring Relationship.
  • Be prepared to be vulnerable. Your mentor is not there to judge you.
  • Ask for and be open to frank feedback even when it’s uncomfortable to hear. 

3. Good communication skills support strong mentoring relationships. 

Sync your calendars so it’s easier to schedule meetings and avoid conflicts. Simply go to “Settings”, then click on “General Preferences” and “Connect Calendar” to connect with your desired calendar account.

It is also important to be conscious of how you’re communicating with your mentor, both verbally and non-verbally.

  • Maintain an open and relaxed posture. Turn your body towards your mentor.
  • Make eye contact if it is culturally acceptable.
  • Nod or make small affirmations to show you are actively listening. 
  • Ask questions. 

Maintaining confidentiality, building rapport and using effective interpersonal communication skills will help you build a strong relationship with your mentor so both of you benefit from the experience. 

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Why Get a Mentor?

Having a mentor as a guide in your professional life will benefit you in so many ways.
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Having a mentor as a guide in your professional life will benefit you in so many ways. 

  1. Safe space: Having a safe, confidential space to explore your purpose, goals and career progress can help you stay on track or correct your trajectory. Your mentor will provide a non-judgemental environment for you to explore and learn. 
  1. Learn: Typically, your mentor will have deep experience in your field and wants to share their knowledge, experiences and stories with you. They can be an objective 3rd party.
  1. Challenge: Your mentor can challenge and ask you thought-provoking questions. Unlike your line manager, who is responsible for the team mission, your mentor can focus just on you. They have your best interests at heart and will challenge you to think more deeply and broadly, help you set goals and tasks to achieve them and offer support along the way.
  1. Role model: Your mentor can serve as a role model and sounding board for you.
  1. Network: Your mentor may have a large network of contacts. Over time, as your mentor gets to know and trust you, they may be willing to introduce you to others; however, this requires time and trust. Don’t ask for introductions too quickly. Establish your relationship with your mentor and let the introductions come organically.